Most Annoying Question Ever Asked As A Bodybuilder UPDATED VERSION
This is something posted over at the MYSPACE FITNESS & MUSCLE GROUP in response to the question, “What is the most annoying question that I have ever been asked as a bodybuilder?” Well, unfortunately, I have quite a list and I am always amazed that people actually say these things! Don’t get me wrong, I truly enjoy talking to people and have been known to spend hours answering questions from complete strangers. If you ever see me in the street, please don’t hesitate to stop me and say “hi!”  On the other hand,  some people do ask some really silly and sometimes inappropriate things (I won’t bore you with the inappropriate stuff), and so here they are in no particular order of annoyance, along with the responses that I wish I could say but am just too damned polite to do so. Enjoy!
Q: “Do you lift weights?”

A: No my parents were Greek Gods.

Q: “How much do you lift?”

A:16! 3.5 times!

Q: “Are you really going to lift all that weight?”

A: No, I just like to load up the bars in the gym and stand next to them while breathing really heavily. It’s how I get my cardio in, and it makes my stalker phone calls more realistic.

Q: “How long will it take me to look like you?”

A: About 30 seconds, but you will have to always wear dark colours, walf fast and find a way to fake the beginnings of male pattern baldness.

Q: “How can I turn fat into muscle?”

A: You need a full moon, two live chickens (preferably free range), four land lizards, a goat and some red paint. An advanced knowledge of voodoo would help too!

Q: “Doesn’t all that muscle slow you down?”

A: Only when I pass in front of a mirror.

Q: “How come you don’t wear clothes that show off your muscles all the time?”

A: Because it would certainly tip the super-villains off as to my secret identity.

Q: “Why don’t eat normal food?”

A: I have to watch my figure, because if I don’t, no one else will.

Q: “What is it like to live with yourself with a body like that?”

A: Actually, I can’t live with myself. We  had a huge argument and broke up about four days ago and I had to ask myself to  move out. If you don’t mind it’s still a sensitive issue and I would rather not talk about it.

Q.: Do you lift weights?

A: Not at all, I am currently having a severe allergic reaction to shellfish. Don’t worry the swelling will go down as soon as I take my Benedryl.

Q: “Why do you still train so hard, aren’t you big enough already?”

A: No, you see my goal is to win the Mr. Universe, not the earth based one, the real one held on Mars, and if you’ve ever seen the Klingons or the Kryptonians, you’ll understand that I really need to keep training!

Q: “Did you ever follow the Atkins Diet?”

A: No, I guess I never wanted to look like Dr. Atkins.

Q: “Do you only eat salads?”

A: That’s right, I have one leaf of lettuce, twice a day. If I am really feel like splurging, I’ll have three leaves!!!

Q: “What is the best way to lose 40 lbs in 24 hours?”

A: Cut off your left leg.

Q: “What is the best way to lose 20 lbs in a week?”

A: Step one: go to Mexico. Step 2: Drink the tap water.

Q: ‘How did you get so big without using steroids?”

A: Simple, I never exhale! Ever!

Q: “You know I used to look just like you when I worked out!”

A: Thanks for telling me, I really wouldn’t have known otherwise.

Q: “How can you look like that if you don’t take any supplements?”

A: I have a magic pendant that helps me lose fat, gain muscle and gives me the proportional strength of a soccer mom in Florida named Frida!

Q: “Why do you train so hard all the time?”

A: Richard Simmons! I don’t want him to catch up!

Q: “Don’t you feel strange with so many people knowing what you look like in your underwear?”

A: How does anyone know what I look like in my underwear? You must be referring to pictures of my twin brother. He looks just like me except he has a thing against wearing clothes in public and he looks a tad shorter since he never wears shoes!

Q: “Do you really look the way that you do in the pictures?”

A: Yes, but, only on weekdays at 3:34 pm, during Daylight Savings Time.

Q: “With muscles like that, why don’t you get a tattoo?”

A: Great idea! Where can I get a life-sized tattoo of myself, but 2 inches taller?

Q: “What would really happen if you cheated on your diet once and had a little bit of pizza or ice-cream?”

A: I would have broken my promise to the tree fairies and as promised they would take away my first born. Can’t afford to mess with the fairies!

Q: “How come your arms are so big?”

A: Mosquitoes. My skin is really sensitive!

Q: “How come you stay in great shape all the time?”

A: Cloning. There are actually four of us. One eats well and trains hard and we keep him locked up in the cellar downstairs and just bring him out for photo-shoots while the rest of us lounge around, watch daytime television, eat junk food and write articles for our blog. And now that you know our secret we are going to have to kill you.

Q: “Isn’t it a bit weird spending all that time doing things like bodybuilding? Why don’t you do a more normal sport.”

A: After they banned cheese rolling, I had nowhere else to go. Besides it seemed like a pretty natural transition.

Q: “Are you available for bachelorette parties? I need a stripper?”

A: Absolutely, as long as you feed me and I don’t have to take off any of my clothes.

Q: “Are all those muscles really yours?”

A: Not exactly, it’s actually a suit that I got early on layaway from Modells. Two more payments of $19.99 and it’s all mine!!!!

Any questions?

NYC personal trainerKevin Richardson is not leaving his day job as a health and fitness writer,  and the founder of the Naturally Intense High Intensity Training. You can learn more about Naturally Intense at his official website at www.naturallyintense.net and be sure to get his free weight loss book here!

Fred Sanya- Kenyan Bodybuilding Champion

I got an email from my good friend and photographer, Dennis Lee about a guy that he had met in Kenya named Fred Sanya. Fred was a Kenyan bodybuilder that was coming to America to compete in the November MuscleMania contest and Dennis asked if I could meet Fred and give him some guidance with regards to his training and diet, as where he lives in Kenya, the gym is made up of homemade weights, made from cement. More astonishingly Dennis told me that Fred was truly a sight to see in terms of his impressive muscle mass, but that he was even more impressive since he only ate one meal a day. On hearing that I knew that I had to do whatever I could to help out Fred. I had just received a letter from a bodybuilder in Benin who was in a similar situation and wanted to know if I could help him out in some way as well and I always do my best whenever I hear these stories as I know all too well what it is like to try to build a champion level physique on just one meal a day myself.

Fed Sanya Back In The Gym In Kenya

Bodybuilding On One Meal A Day

As a teenager in Trinidad, I never had enough money to afford the ideal number of meals and would struggle to eat four times a day. I actually started my career as a personal trainer at the advice of my coach as a way to get more money to buy my food. At the time I only got paid once a month so I only had enough food for about 3 weeks. For the last week (or sometimes two depending on the length of the month) I would only have enough for one main meal and as hard as it was it never stopped me from the pursuit of my goal. Hearing about Fred, I thus felt an immediate kinship and arranged to have him meet me at the 19th Street Gym, where I train and my personal training business operates.

To say that I was impressed by Fred would be a true understatement. He came in, all full of smiles with a friend of his who was helping him get around for the day and I shook the hand of this giant of a man. He stood just about six feet tall and at about 220lbs with a barrel chest and impressively wide shoulders. His physique spoke of the years of training that he had put himself through (Fred at this point has been training for over 8 years now) and that he was able to accumulate such amazing proportions eating one meal a day spoke legion to what he would accomplish in the months to come. Fred was so happy just to be here, and we sat down in the gym lobby for a while and spoke about bodybuilding, training and the difference between what it is like here in the United States and his native land in terms of the food and training equipment.

Fred Sanya At 19th Street Gym

Not Much Gym Equipment But Plenty Of Spirit

Fred said that in his country there is so little food and the gyms are so run down that you just have to train hard and do the best that you can. Some of the competitors in Kenya also take steroids, which Fred is dead set against using and welcomed the idea of coming to the United States to compete in drug tested contests. I sympathized with him, as when I started competing in Trinidad, there was no such thing as a drug free contest. Steroids were very much a part of the competitive landscape and my decision to not not go that route was  very difficult one, but I stood fast and was able to be competitive nonetheless.

I told Fred about another bodybuilder that also had very little access to good food at the beginning of his career, but was able to compete and build a championship level physique, my good friend, Kai Greene- who in my opinion was one of the greatest natural bodybuilders of all time, during the period that I was with him competing in the NPC. Kai and I would spend hours talking about the importance of passion, and that most people simply didn’t understand the concept of making your dreams a reality no matter what the obstacles are. Fred is a great example of just that as he never complained about what he didn’t have he just trained hard and was able to accomplish great things in the process.

Fred Shows The Champion Level Form That He Was Able To Build Drug Free!

Victor Munoz, Victor Martinez’s coach and a friend of mine walked by and I introduced him to Fred. Fred was very excited to meet the man behind one of the top IFBB pros on the circuit today and Victor shared some of his words of wisdom as well. Hailing from Cuba, he too knew what it was like to not have everything at your fingertips as it is here in the United States. He said that Fred had a lot of potential  and that he would do really well over here, but that he needed to eat clean at all times, since the food over here is plentiful, but it is really easy to start eating the wrong things. Fred was very excited to learn that Victor Martinez actually trained at the 19th Street Gym and could hardly wait to see the place.

Fred’s typical workout regime in Kenya revolved around the very basics, squats, deadlifts, shoulder presses, rows curls and bench presses with not very much else. Fred trained 6 days a week twice a day (that’s not a typo) and has made tremendous gains from this remarkable regime. Some might say that his unconventional approach is not an effective one, but the proof as they say is in the pudding and Fred’s physique does indeed speak volumes for the validity of what he was doing. As someone that gained over 100lbs over the years with three fifteen to twenty minute workouts, I know for a fact that very often the unconventional can produce some unconventional results! I told Fred about my own high intensity training routine of 10 minute workouts and he was incredulous.

“How can you work the muscles in such a short time?” he asked with a puzzled expression on his face, so I did what I always do when asked that question, I took him for a workout! Fred had also never trained in a real gym, so when we descended into the sprawling sea of iron that is the 19th Street Gym, he was dumbfounded. I reminded him that though the many machines offer a great degree of variety for many body parts, the basics of what got him to where he was in the first place should never be forgotten. He wanted to train legs and so I took him through a paces of a Naturally Intense leg workout!

Fred loved every minute of it, and after the first round of hamstring curls (which, by the way he had never done before ), clearly feeling the effects, he boomed,

“Please! We are not finished yet?”

We were not, after launching into a set of squats, verticals and calves he was barely able to walk. Total training time, 8.5 minutes and Fred looked at me with a great smile, shook my hand and said,

“Maybe I need to think about training a bit like this, I have never felt like this before!”

At this point my other clients at the gym had arrived and Fred warned them,

“Be careful with this guy, this training is no joke!”

Me & Fred Hamming It Up For The Camera!

In Fred I could really see the passion that I and so many others have over the years and I look forward to helping him and seeing him go straight to the top of the sport. I hope that his example helps inspire you and many others that you can indeed make your dreams a reality without drugs, and even without the many protein powders and supplements that are so much a part of training today. All you need is a burning desire to succeed and a real commitment to never give up, no matter what!

Related posts:

How Much Protein Do You Really Need to Build Muscle?

You can see more of Fred at his website at www.fredsanya.com.

Update- 12/2/09- Congratulations to Fred Sanya on winning his class at the 2009 Musclemania and I am honored to have been able to help him with his diet and training. He truly is a champion at heart!

Celebrity personal trainer NYC Kevin Richardson is an award winning health and fitness writer, lifetime drug free bodybuilder, founder of the Naturally Intense High Intensity Training and one of the most sought after personal trainers in New York City. Get a copy of his free weight loss ebook here.

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